diff --git a/content_daily/log/114.mkd b/content_daily/log/114.mkd
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..949d0e5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content_daily/log/114.mkd
@@ -0,0 +1,301 @@
+---
+title: Payload
+date: 2013-04-21
+techne: :done
+episteme: :log
+---
+
+Let’s see…
+
+I did a bunch of stuff I don’t properly understand enough yet to talk
+about without making an ass of myself, and even though that hasn’t ever
+stopped me before, I don’t wanna contribute too much to People Being
+Wrong On The Internet if I can help it…
+
+And all other projects won’t have anything meaningful to show off or
+talk about for some time to come, and “I read these books; they don’t
+suck” posts aren’t very interesting (unless I can at least say something
+about them)…
+
+And this situation isn’t gonna change anytime soon, and this is still
+primarily a practice log (maybe we should call an ironic purpose a
+“telol”?), so even though I have a bunch of drafts, I don’t wanna just
+dump my `crazy.txt`[^crazy] here without at least occasionally
+balancing it with `not_actually_crazy.txt`.
+
+So, uh, what am I gonna talk about the next few months? Guess I’ll have
+to become ultra-productive and cram in some more minor projects.
+
+しい〜〜〜ん
+
+Yeah ok, volume will probably just go down and I’ll try to mention [cool
+shit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_trSIBCgF0) and minor projects
+until stuff gets interesting again. (Lowered the road dial again for a
+while.)
+
+---
+
+Hint: someone scanned Westergaard’s Introduction to Tonal Theory and I
+hear it will also appear on the usual sites in a few days. Just fyi.
+
+On a totally unrelated note, I’ve started reading Westergaard’s book and
+I’m genuinely impressed. It looks like a proper textbook about a sane
+theory with lots of examples and a clear, logical structure throughout.
+Haven’t had much time to work on it yet, but it looks very promising.
+
+---
+
+Some drug updates.
+
+- Modafinil: useless as a normal upper, mediocre as a sleep
+ substitute, great for “fuck deadline can’t afford to sleep fuck
+ fuck”. The effect during waking hours is not noticeably better than
+ caffeine for me. If it weren’t so expensive, I’d run a double-blind
+ test to compare side-effects and get a more precise idea, but so
+ it’s just not worth it. Will likely keep a small emergency supply on
+ hand, but otherwise I’ll stick to nicotine and caffeine.
+
+- Nicotine: started to smoke cigarettes again. Not a lot (i.e.
+ \<40/month), and it’s not really about the nicotine either, which is
+ almost anti-addictive for me. Despite clear benefits and wanting to
+ use it regularly, I keep forgetting I have large supplies of
+ lozenges and go days (and sometimes weeks) without any for no good
+ reason, and even when I use them, it’s never more than
+ 4mg/day.[^nicotine]
+
+ So why smoke? Because I want something destructive - a tiny,
+ controlled source of it, yes, but to deliberately do something of no
+ use - no, not enough! - to take an action fully aware that it brings
+ nothing but harm to myself, is to say, no, I cannot be satisfied; to
+ say to optimization itself, nothing you can do will ever make me
+ happy; this is my vote of discord, my dissatisfaction with order -
+ this one is for decay.
+
+---
+
+I made a [Twitter account for drunken
+confessions](https://twitter.com/#!/drunkflax). If I can’t say them to
+the person I mean them for, I can at least say them in general just to
+have them said, to lower the barrier - a practice round instead of just
+sadness. Maybe it’s gone tomorrow, maybe not. Don’t read them. I made
+it for you. Take with a grain of salt, placed on the back of your hand
+and a slice of lemon; count your shots.
+
+---
+
+I feel like many arguments could be more easily resolved if people more
+routinely asked themselves the First Rule of Debugging, i.e. “What are
+you trying to do with that?”.
+
+I’ve failed to state that enough in the past (and I’ve added “state what
+this is trying to accomplish” to my list of rules to observe in future
+writing), so here’s an example for practice.
+
+In Scott’s [wrestling with virtue
+ethics](http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/10/book-review-after-virtue-or-somebody-here-is-really-confused-and-i-just-hope-its-not-me/)
+[^pad], I was reminded how I had always assumed (if not
+explicitly, then implicitly in how I write) that my specific problems
+with ethics generalize and then how I was somewhat upset how someone
+could have the nerve to develop ideas that might work for their
+problems, maybe, but not mine!, what sacrilege.
+
+In particular, I have no clue what I want (I feel like I may have some
+preferences in forced decisions (i.e. almost all of them), but that’s
+far from wanting things for their own sake), so theories about “getting
+what I want” are of no use to me (regardless of their validity), but I
+know “the kind of person” I don’t want to be
+(“[apophatic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apophatic_theology) virtue
+ethics”, you say?), but at the same time (and for good reasons I won’t
+elaborate on), I don’t trust my own ideas of what “good” is and that
+many common heuristics - trust your instincts, use empathy, follow your
+heart - are *horrible* advice for me because I’m at least potentially a
+Bad Person(tm) and *I will fuck people over* if you’re so stupid to make
+me run on instinct, so I don’t just need (meta-)ethics to resolve
+conflicts for me, but to even provide (some of?) my values in the first
+place.
+
+So any theory that requires me to load it with my values first is
+utterly useless to me because [it doesn’t solve any of my actual
+problems](http://www.viruscomix.com/page535.html). For example, my
+motivation for making locality a requirement for any meta-ethical theory
+is that I don’t want to be held responsible - including by abstract
+principles - for things I have no possible way of doing right. Or as
+Kant is commonly (and uncharacteristically) summarized, “ought implies
+can”. I don’t know what “the Good” is, in terms of a specific outcome or
+kind of world. There are narratives that shape what I think of as a
+“good world”, but these are clearly contingent and very non-mainstream
+(currently, anyway[^pol]). A defining feature of any concept is
+that there are some things it *isn’t*, some negative examples. But if
+“the Good” is just whatever these narratives have led me to think of as
+“Good”, then there is no way for me to be *wrong* about
+it.[^wrong] The label “Good” is then just an arbitrary
+placeholder. I don’t know if “Good” outside this usage has any meaning
+either, but *if* so, I want to at least cover my ass. Thus, Moral
+Realism That Doesn’t Do Anything.
+
+Interestingly, I *don’t* seem to apply this same thinking to the past.
+Even though Bad Shit happened[^close], I’m completely unwilling
+to let it go and still consider Things I Literally Have No Longer Any
+Causal Control Over[^mol] just as relevant and so a single
+negative example can devastate me and *keep on* devastating
+me.[^baum] I wonder if I should stop doing that…
+
+[^crazy]:
+ Actual content of `~/drafts`, my `crazy.txt`:
+
+ - start of a manifesto “Against Compassion”
+ - “I didn’t choose to be a wolf”, a meditation on fursonae
+ - sketches about “could zombies have saved the Nazi war effort?”
+ until I got bored doing calculations (includes mostly worked-out
+ Nazi Zombie campaign setting, incl. sketch of a metaphysics to
+ make it reasonably coherent)
+ - a love poem to cheesecake
+ - “why everything sucks and will never ever get better”, a reading
+ of some of Luther’s more obscure writing (on hold until I figure
+ out if everything sucks and will never ever get better or not)
+ - an incomplete sketch of “Against Imagination”, which keeps on
+ metastasizing as I add more and more anger to it, but it never
+ really goes anywhere constructive and I wonder if I’m not just
+ rewriting the Futurist Manifesto anyway
+ - “I’m the worst person to talk about politics, but I’m drunk and
+ I have a pile of manifestos, try stoppin’ me”, an
+ interdisciplinary attempt of political exploration
+ - several sketches and attempts of a new critical method I call
+ Passive-Aggressive Deconstruction
+
+ I think it’s obvious why those drafts never go anywhere.
+
+[^nicotine]:
+ I’m deliberately ignoring e-cigarettes even though they’re cheaper
+ because I don’t want to accidentally establish a “suck on
+ cigarettes” habit that might transfer to real cigarettes so I can
+ always maintain a behavioral separation between “nicotine so my
+ brain works” and “smoking for emotional reasons”, despite them
+ sharing some drug effects. The nicotine in cigarettes is still
+ welcome and I substitute accordingly, but it’s a bit of a pity I
+ have to smoke strong brands just to remind me of her smell.
+
+ <%= image("wishyouwerehere.jpg", "hot ashes for trees") %>
+
+[^pad]:
+ In particular [this
+ post](http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/11/virtue-ethics-not-practically-useful-either/)
+ how virtue ethics is not useful in practice, and this (highly
+ excerpted) exchange with Vladimir:
+
+ > [Vladimir:] If this abstract theory [e.g. utilitarianism] provides
+ > answers for the extreme and controversial cases, then it should
+ > provide answers for everyday common cases as well. But here we see
+ > that these abstract theories are of little use, often providing no
+ > useful answer or plainly absurd answers, and requiring tortured
+ > rationalizations and special pleading just to get them to clear
+ > the bar of ordinary common sense.
+ >
+ > […]
+ >
+ > If we actually do start from scratch in our study of ethics and
+ > make sure to stick to the reality of what human beings are, not to
+ > metaphysical pies in the sky and sophistries useful only for
+ > signaling and lawyering, we will end up — or at least have to
+ > start with — something resembling virtue ethics.
+ >
+ > [Scott:] Aside from the things I addressed in my new post, we seem
+ > to disagree a lot on how bad utilitarian and deontological ethics
+ > work. As far as I can tell they work about as well as Newtonian
+ > physics – they get the right result in the overwhelming majority
+ > of cases, but break down in certain weird edge cases where in fact
+ > they might still be salvageable.
+
+ was the thing that made me throw up my hands and say in a moment of
+ amused desperation, *surely* you can’t be asserting this! I don’t
+ have an issue with saying that virtue ethics isn’t really a *theory*
+ of anything but more a label of a kind of discourse, a way of
+ *doing* morality instead of thinking *about* morality, and that it
+ is, to use Skinner’s terminology, still mostly prescientific. Fair
+ enough.
+
+ But to say that utilitarianism (or even better, deontology! The
+ *simplest*, most straightforward example of deontological reasoning
+ - don’t deceive - is highly controversial and virtually *nobody*
+ agrees with it!) works most of the time is.. well, Scott is, to use
+ Moldbug’s amusing phrase, “[not a blithering
+ idiot](http://unqualified-reservations.blogspot.com/2013/03/sam-altman-is-not-blithering-idiot.html)”,
+ so I can’t just say, “clearly he just doesn’t know what he’s talking
+ about”. There must a disagreement not about results (because Scott
+ is neither ignorant nor in denial), but about *the problem*. With a
+ disparity this huge, we can’t be looking [at the same
+ thing](http://blog.regehr.org/archives/861).
+
+ One might be tempted to say, “this just proves that some people
+ think inherently like virtue ethicists and some like utilitarians”,
+ but that’s just throwing away all possibility of rational discourse
+ forever, and most importantly, *this isn’t even the case*. (Even if
+ this were the case, “get out of your weird bubble” would likely be a
+ more appropriate response, but I’m not convinced this even applies
+ to Scott, unlike say Kant.)
+
+ If I were more the person I want to be, I would now be able to write
+ an eloquent reply, but alas, the only answer I *am* capable of is a
+ stare of incredulity (which I hate) or an incoherent angry rant
+ (which I love). Wanting not to be abusive, I thus experimented with
+ alternatives and came up with Passive-Aggressive Deconstruction,
+ which is probably still trollish, but maybe not hostile. (Or at
+ least amusingly so.)
+
+ Essentially, and this is why I haven’t written more than sketches
+ yet because this is still a lot of work, I just wanted to highlight
+ by mere quotation how *Scott himself* uses virtue-ethical reasoning
+ frequently *on his own blog*, and how then, tumblr-style, I could
+ just add his comment pasted on a fitting `useless_utilitarian.jpg`
+ after each quote and ask, “Why don’t I see a calculation here?” or
+ “Why do you think this is a valid form of argument?”, so that after
+ a sufficiently large number of instances of this, it would at least
+ be more than an *assertion* of “I can’t believe you’re saying what I
+ think you’re saying, but I don’t see what else you possible could
+ mean to say”.
+
+ But eh, now that I’ve outlined the general approach, I can’t be
+ bothered to do it concretely. (\<3)
+
+[^pol]:
+ I don’t know of any way to discuss these things without either
+ moving to a very different audience (which I have no interest in) or
+ attempting an act of bridging a moral divide that is akin to making
+ a lion speak. Regardless - and I don’t know if that is intentional
+ or not - I might eventually have to get there if I ever want to go
+ meta and discuss important figures in [Higher
+ Criticism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_criticism)
+ directly and not just their ideas how to read the NT. But I’ve
+ failed to tell Lutherans that they don’t understand Luther, so I’m
+ not optimistic about that ever succeeding.
+
+[^wrong]:
+ To be a bit more accurate, the problem is how the concept is learned
+ and it basically separates moral subjectivists from moral
+ relativists. In the subjectivist view, “Good” is the extension of
+ whatever collection of preferences I happen to hold, while moral
+ relativists conceive of some distributed concept shared by a
+ community, like a language.
+
+ So for example and by analogy, there is a wrong way to speak French
+ (even though there is no Standard Written Into The World Itself that
+ tells us a priori what French “is” and even though boundaries might
+ be fuzzy) and so it makes sense to say someone can learn French
+ (because we can provide positive and negative examples). But under
+ the subjectivist view, that is not the case because only *I* - or
+ rather, the preferences in my skull - define the concept. As such, I
+ can *teach* what “Good” means (i.e. *others* can be wrong about it),
+ but I can’t *learn* it because I already, by construction, embody
+ it. (This ethical egoism may, as a matter of fact, include the value
+ of “altruism”, of course - values aren’t justifications.)
+
+[^close]:
+ Look, Internet, I’m sorry but we aren’t *that* close.
+
+[^mol]:
+ Well yes, Molinists can change the past, but then they have to
+ negotiate with God and that doesn’t sound any easier, if you ask me…
+
+[^baum]:
+ As Baumeister famously argues, “[bad is stronger than
+ good](http://www.csom.umn.edu/Assets/71516.pdf)”.
diff --git a/content_daily/log/115.mkd b/content_daily/log/115.mkd
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5cd7b60
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content_daily/log/115.mkd
@@ -0,0 +1,174 @@
+---
+title: Walpurgiskater
+date: 2013-05-01
+techne: :done
+episteme: :log
+---
+
+> but it’s too late, my friend\
+> too late\
+> but never mind
+>
+> all my trials, lord\
+> will soon be over
+>
+> – all my trials (excerpt)
+
+As a simple safety precaution, and even though I don’t have a history of
+escalating addictions[^addict], I’m set up a [Beeminder
+goal](https://www.beeminder.com/muflax/goals/smoking) to limit my
+cigarette use. I mean, the financial budget already keeps it at a
+manageable level, but that’s what they all say, isn’t it?
+
+Nonetheless, I did a simple cost comparisons[^patch] for a
+certain (fairly representative) Rich European Nation with its
+enlightened “heavily tax those who cost you less and who need the stuff
+to self-regulate” drug policy:
+
+- decent cigarettes: \~0.25 Euro / 1mg nicotine
+- roll your own cigarettes: \~0.10 Euro / 1mg nicotine (all other
+ tobacco products are somewhere between those two)
+- lozenges: \~0.06 Euro / 1mg nicotine (that’s for 4mg lozenges, which
+ are easy to split in half, but if you want to actually dose 1mg,
+ you’ll probably have to pay double)
+- e-cigarette: well… ok, I’m confused by how much usable nicotine they
+ really contain, and what realistic costs are (including hardware),
+ but my best estimate is something like \~0.10 Euro /
+ 1mg[^source] (especially as prices are expected to go up
+ thanks to upcoming regulations), which surprises me as I thought
+ they were a lot cheaper. Am I missing something?
+
+I currently don’t have any reasonable way to circumvent those taxes
+(Eastern European border, I miss ya), so it seems like I’m not actually
+spending a whole lot of premium on cigarettes. Assuming a 4mg/day
+maximum (which is a pretty hig upper bound of my current use), I’d have
+to pay up to \~7 Eurons/month for the cognitive benefits through
+lozenges (which also ignores that I skip days irregularly because I
+forget about the stuff, which at least helps keep tolerance down).
+
+If I add, say, 10 cigarettes/week (which is a similarly high long-term
+estimate of my current use) and use lozenges otherwise for the same
+4mg/day, I’d pay \~9 Eurons/months, not a lot more. (And I love tobacco
+smoke and discolorations anyway, so this is a reasonable cost just for
+the pleasant experience, but I’m weird that way. Always loved having
+smoker friends for their smell, even though I only got interested in the
+stuff itself a few years ago.) So once my current supplies run out,
+that’s exactly what I intend to switch to.
+
+But why stick with 4mg? Maybe that’s too much, maybe not enough? I need
+a better way to quantify what benefits I get from nicotine (in terms of
+cognitive enhancement, reduction of *ugh*, regulation of schizotypal
+symptoms). So I thought about existing options to get data from:
+
+- I can’t use sleep data because my sleep patterns are very irregular
+ and my Zeo data is basically worthless. Back when I tracked it
+ regularly for a few months, I virtually *never* dropped below a ZQ
+ of 90 and saw many anomalies (catastrophic night with a ZQ \> 120
+ etc.), and now Zeo’s dead anyway (pbut).
+
+- Comparing “time spent on useful projects” is tricky because there’s
+ a lot of noise, but it might be workable if I do it for a
+ sufficiently long period of time and I’m tracking this anyway.
+
+- Anki seems too noisy to evaluate. What would I even measure? Answer
+ time? Correctness percentage is (on average) held constant by the
+ scheduling algorithm and it’s tricky to control for difficulty.
+
+None of those sound too promising, so I’ve looked into useful short
+tests I can run once every day. I want the total test suite to be short
+(\<10min) so I don’t get bored, so I’ll stick with these 3 tests for 2
+minutes each:
+
+1. [n-back](http://www.gwern.net/DNB%20FAQ) accuracy score
+
+ I remember vaguely from gwern-sensei’s FAQ that it’s currently
+ unknown if there’s a significant difference between single and dual
+ n-back, and because I’m lazy I’ll start with single n-back. I’ll add
+ sound when I get a [round tuit](http://blog.beeminder.com/tuit/).
+
+2. Answer time on simple arithmetic problems (“3+2=?”)
+
+ This is [Seth Roberts](http://blog.sethroberts.net/)’ favorite. Many
+ data points per day, plausible mechanism, useful skill. What’s not
+ to like?
+
+3. [Stroop task](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroop_effect) answer
+ time
+
+ There have been several studies that have shown that schizophrenics
+ have significantly increased Stroop latencies, so it seems like a
+ useful proxy test for schizotypy. The traditional positive/negative
+ symptom tests (besides applying to most people in a philosophy
+ department) are way too imprecise, so this will have to do.
+
+I’ve [hacked together a quick
+script](https://github.com/muflax/cogatrice) that takes care of the
+assignments and tests, added a [simple Beeminder
+goal](https://www.beeminder.com/muflax/goals/cogtest) to ensure daily
+measurements and I’ll figure out how to analyze the data once I have
+some. (It’ll take a bit for them to plateau anyway, so I can still work
+out problems in the protocol as they come up.)
+
+There’s of course still the issue of randomization and blinding.
+E-cigarettes are relatively easy to blind, but everything else seems
+hard (use herbal / low-nicotine tobacco that tastes similar?) to
+impossible (find similar mint lozenges?). So I can’t properly control
+for placebo, but I can still learn some information about dosage. Next
+time I buy new lozenges, I’ll also buy weaker ones because they all look
+and taste the same and so I can blind *strength*. Until then and in
+addition, I can randomize *scheduling* - I simply randomly do the tests
+first and then take the nicotine or the other way around. That still
+provides a baseline to compare the intervention with. Lastly, I’ve also
+re-instituted my detailed drug log (which I only needed to avoid some
+nasty interactions, mostly with MAOIs, which I haven’t taken in some
+time) so I can spot potential patterns.
+
+Empiricism!
+
+---
+
+So it seems I’m getting back into statistics and how to read scientific
+papers, and hey, I have some old notes but how much can I’ve really
+forgotten? Let’s review some simple stuff. What was a p-value again,
+Wiki-sama?
+
+> In statistical significance testing the p-value is the probability of
+> obtaining a test statistic at least as extreme as the one that was
+> actually observed, assuming that the null hypothesis is true. One
+> often “rejects the null hypothesis” when the p-value is less than the
+> predetermined significance level which is often 0.05 or 0.01,
+> indicating that the observed result would be highly unlikely under the
+> null hypothesis. Many common statistical tests, such as chi-squared
+> tests or Student’s t-test, produce test statistics which can be
+> interpreted using p-values.
+
+Oh for fuck’s sake.
+
+[^addict]:
+ I mean, look at that graph. If being very inconsistent in everything
+ I do is a superpower, drug use is probably the only area where it
+ pays off.
+
+[^patch]:
+ Ignoring patches, which I found really hard to dose, and gum, which
+ everyone I know who tried to use it had issues with. I also find it
+ difficult to take absorption rates into account, but the “1mg”
+ number is my best guess of effective nicotine, taking the numbers on
+ cigarette boxes at face-value.
+
+ It’s also funny how the nicotine content for each product does *not*
+ generally affect it’s price much (if at all).
+
+[^source]:
+ Raw nicotine content in the liquid isn’t informative as such because
+ it ignores the absorption rate (for which I couldn’t find a good
+ source), other components besides nicotine, and so on. I ultimately
+ went with the quantity of liquid former smokers typically end up
+ using, which seems like a more useful proxy. However, even there
+ good correlations are rarely present and estimates vary a lot. My
+ (not particularly informed) best guess, based on that one study with
+ self-medicating schizophrenics and various forums with smokers, is
+ that one medium-to-high-strength cartridge equals \~6-10 cigarettes.
+
+ I did find decent estimates for lozenges (and they fit my personal
+ experience), so those costs are more reliable.
diff --git a/content_daily/log/116.mkd b/content_daily/log/116.mkd
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..553e7c7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content_daily/log/116.mkd
@@ -0,0 +1,318 @@
+---
+title: Powerdrills and Bonesaws
+date: 2013-05-23
+techne: :done
+episteme: :log
+---
+
+Mostly just practice, which I report for beeminding purposes. Yay?
+
+---
+
+I’ve extended the cognitive tests with a simple questionnaire for some
+daily variables and now also track daily mood split into four variables
+(energy level, comfortableness, “everything makes sense”-ness, [body
+load](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_load)) on a scale of
+1-5[^scale]. I don’t expect that to yield useful correlations
+(with better than retrodictive powers), but it’s trivial to do, so
+whatever.
+
+Also, first result: apparently, the more tired I am, the *better* I get
+at the Stroop test. Can’t rule out practice effects yet, of course, but
+I think ‘m getting a better feel for “cognitive functions are down, I’m
+not even bothering to process what this word says”, which makes the
+Stroop test much easier. Might be a useful thing to notice in general.
+
+---
+
+I’ve done some work on the next iteration of my language tools (now
+renamed to “mavothi”), might have some (unusable as-is unless you’re
+muflax, but maybe interesting nonetheless) results soon.
+
+I’ve also done a lot of work on steno, which I’ve now started to
+actually practice. Actual practice, guys! I’m becoming functional.
+
+---
+
+I’ve transitioned some archives to
+[git-annex](http://git-annex.branchable.com/). For my non-neckbearded
+readers, git-annex is basically a system to track archives over multiple
+locations (e.g. external drives, remote servers, different laptops) and
+automate most of the hassle of having those archives in the first place.
+
+It has a Dropbox-y assistant which I found really awkward to use and
+which shredded my configs constantly while I tried to figure out how it
+works, so I’m not using it (yet) and do everything via shell commands,
+like a man. So my current setup looks like this:
+
+1. There are multiple independent archives, currently `~/books`,
+ `~/games/install` (install files, mods etc. for vidya gaems)
+ `~/テレビ` (TV shows and movies) and `~/音` (podcasts, music, etc.),
+ which contain a lot of big media. I have complete daily
+ backups[^backups] of most of this stuff, but I’d like to a)
+ have more backups and b) be able to swap stuff out that I don’t use
+ much. I regularly re-watch [‘Allo
+ ‘Allo!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27Allo_%27Allo!), but there’s
+ no point in having it on my main machine all the
+ time[^waste]. Git-annex has this nice feature where you can
+ `drop` files from one repository and it replaces them with symlinks
+ so it looks like the file’s still there and you can move it around,
+ but when you try to access it, it’ll tell you what other repository
+ (which still has the file) you need to connect so it can get it
+ back.
+
+2. I have a whole lot of external drives because I tend to update
+ hardware faster than it breaks, and never throw out old drives (plus
+ I have several sources who give me their old stuff too), so I’ve now
+ set them up as “trusted”[^trusted] repositories for the
+ archives and made sure all files have at least on external copy. I
+ update these archives whenever my main machine is full and I want to
+ drop files off it. That way, every file is always in at least two
+ places and can’t be lost due to drive failure or basic stupidity.
+
+1. My two laptops (see above) used to just sync my whole home directory
+ via [unison](http://www.cis.upenn.edu/~bcpierce/unison/), which is
+ really wasteful and regularly annoys me because their drives are
+ much smaller (and slower), and because unison isn’t too smart.
+ git-annex fixes a lot of these issues because now don’t have to copy
+ *everything*, but can still keep the directory structure synced.
+
+2. I currently manually sync the laptops with a simple shell script
+ every time I need some data that’s not on the machine, but that
+ should eventually become (semi-)automatic too.
+
+What I’d like to do later:
+
+1. I’m currently syncing stuff on my phone through Dropbox (mostly
+ images and audio logs), but once the git-annex android client is a
+ bit more solid, I hope to use it there too so I don’t have to trust
+ Dropbox anymore.
+
+2. Get the git-annex assistant running so I don’t have to manually add
+ and sync files. That’s still rare enough that it doesn’t bother me
+ much, but allegedly this should already be possible. It just
+ constantly broke on my setup or was horribly slow, for some reason.
+
+---
+
+A minor belief update.
+
+Back in December[^oldlogs], I wrote:
+
+> If one were to take a fictionalist approach to the [New Testament],
+> that is to assume that, excluding maybe a few historical allusions
+> here and there, they are works of *fiction* […], then it follows that
+> the original scripture is forever lost to us. We may be able to
+> reconstruct roughly back to Marcion’s work around 130AD, but no
+> further. The evidence has simply been lost to time. One may speculate,
+> as RMP and others frequently do, and all kinds of plausible
+> explanations might be found, but closure is impossible.
+>
+> […]
+>
+> And so I realized, I needed not a new proclamation of the message, but
+> an entirely different work, one capable of reflecting the true author
+> of confusion. I considered merging all traditions into one gospel, or
+> using elaborate annotation (even footnotes to footnotes), but then I
+> thought, ideally the text would be a dialog between all those strands,
+> would give the Marcionite, the Simonian and the Gnostic their first
+> fair hearing, and so we really need more gospels written from these
+> perspectives, including the Devil’s own version that they read down in
+> Hell, but even that would not be sufficient, not even to replicate the
+> delightful state of interwoven connections I see in the text, for
+> nothing short of all of the tradition would be capable of representing
+> the tradition.
+>
+> […]
+>
+> But can the text be made *simpler*, without breaking it? After all,
+> the canonical NT is already reduced, lacking several gospels, epistles
+> and so on. Yet, it seems to me that these reductions don’t necessarily
+> simplify the *content* of the text. All ideas are still present, they
+> just aren’t as close to the surface. And this does not have to
+> interfere with the interpretation of scripture. After all, the 19th
+> century Dutch and German radicals managed to reconstruct many aspects
+> before most of these alternative text had been found! They predicted
+> the Gnostic texts in great detail and were entirely right.
+
+I still expected that there wasn’t a single source of origin (or linear
+sequence of origins) for the core NT, that like modern mediums, the
+authors were telling stories of their own invention with no real
+connections between them, until decades (and sometimes, centuries) later
+various churches would try to integrate them into one tradition (with
+the well-known result that for every assertion in the NT, there is also
+a counter-assertion that contradicts it). This would make a successful
+reconstruction essentially impossible because there simple isn’t a
+coherent shared thread.
+
+I no longer think that’s necessarily true. I’m not sure that there *is*
+a single source of origin (and if so, that it is knowable) either, but
+due to a lot of recent reading I’ve done, particularly on the Gospel of
+John and its possible (more-or-less) Marcionite origin, there now is a
+budding live hypothesis in my head that would make sense of all the
+texts and their origin, that answers virtually all important questions
+about the NT, and that postulates just such a single origin (of Simon
+-\> Marcionite hermeneutics -\> Catholic hijacking). Funnily enough,
+that is still in line with my judgment that whatever scripture may have
+existed before Marcion is lost to us; I just didn’t expect Marcionites
+to be *that* influential for our canon.
+
+I will discuss all of that in detail in due time, but I’m only about 20%
+done with all the necessary skills I’ll have to learn (including several
+languages) and books I’ll have to read (thankfully all in languages I
+know), so this is obviously speculative play still, but the mere
+*possibility* of a such a hypothesis and the fact that it can be
+directly verified with the evidence we do have, is dazzling.
+
+There are two vectors that I still find deeply puzzling and possibly
+beyond our reach - where did the Buddhists get their ideas from, and
+what’s up with Simon?
+
+Christian Lindtner claims (and unfortunately I don’t have the skills yet
+to even fully comprehend his theory) that the core NT texts are based on
+Buddhist sources (which Christian scribes could easily have had access
+to thanks to Ashoka), but then we have to trace the underlying ideas
+back to India, and there we will likely lose them. Recent research makes
+me increasingly skeptical that *any* of the Jewish texts meaningfully
+predates the Hellenistic Period (and many not even Christianity!). The
+case for Greek priority of the Pentateuch (and a Hebrew translation
+second!) seems stronger every year, and even if we “merely” have to
+declare pre-Septuagint developments as forever unknowable, that should
+equally make us skeptical of Buddhist stories before, say, the
+Visuddhimagga.
+
+It would be much easier for my ideas if instead Buddhism took at least
+its mythological narratives *from* Christianity (and then historicized
+them way in the past), but that’s not a good criterion for truth. :) And
+if it is the other way around (which is certainly plausible), then we
+have to explain, independently, how the Buddhists got started. The
+connection still deeply confuses me, and I follow Lindtner’s suggestion
+that I’ll have to learn Sanskrit to adequately understand this
+eventually.
+
+The other origin, Simon, is equally mysterious because we simply don’t
+have many crucial sources anymore. RMP makes a decent case that at least
+his Great Proclamation has been more-or-less completely preserved, but
+much of it reads like typical Gnostic gibberish. I feel increasingly
+comfortable with various Marcionite writings and their interpretation,
+but what’s the deal with Simon? I currently have no idea.
+
+I feel sorry for anyone who wants to start a Post-Simonian Church.
+Luckily, I’m merely trying to start the Post-Marcionite one, and that
+seems very much doable. Marcion, Appeles, Valentinus, Basilides and
+others will be slandered no longer, and one face of “Paul” will be
+reconstructed once again. But Simon? Who knows. We might have to fall
+back on channeling after all.
+
+Luther, in his [Commentary on
+Genesis](http://archive.org/stream/LutherOnTheCreationACriticalAndDevotionalCommentaryOnGenesis1-3/LutherGenesis1-3#page/n17/mode/1up),
+writes:
+
+> Therefore it is far the safest not to be too curious and inquiring in
+> these subjects [i.e. hermeneutics], because they are placed above our
+> human capacity. For how can we understand that order which God himself
+> establishes and approves? Yes, reason must here be put to shame, for
+> what is order in the eyes of God we judge to be confusion of order.
+> Thus the stars seem to us to be arranged thoughtlessly in wild
+> disorder in that the bright ones are scattered among those more
+> obscure, and the lesser among the greater. Who would judge this to be
+> order? And yet it is the most perfect harmony, so constituted by the
+> all-wise mind itself. In like manner we judge other matters. It seems
+> confusing that our Elbe and all rivers flow to the sea in an irregular
+> winding course. Such disorder there seems to be also among trees, yes,
+> between man and wife, where it appears there is no order. But all this
+> only proves that God is a God of order and that his judgment as to
+> order is quite different than ours.
+
+We might find ourselves one day, discovering Eris legible all along, in
+the setup for Creation’s final pun…
+
+[^scale]:
+ Meaning of the scale for the variables, with 2-4 as the typical
+ range:
+
+ - energy level:
+ 1. “can’t get up”
+ 2. “ugh”
+ 3. “functional”
+ 4. “movement is light, doing stuff is easy”
+ 5. “mania”
+ - comfortableness:
+ 1. “paranoia”
+ 2. “anxiety”
+ 3. “people are nice”
+ 4. “feelings are awesome”
+ 5. “[Overly Attached
+ Girlfriend](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/overly-attached-girlfriend)”
+ - “everything makes sense”-ness:
+ 1. “nihilism”
+ 2. “knowing stuff is too hard”
+ 3. “the world makes sense”
+ 4. “everything according to plan”
+ 5. “[horse\_ebooks](https://twitter.com/Horse_ebooks/status/326479048945594368)”
+ - body load:
+ 1. “Nurgle”
+ 2. “nausea”
+ 3. “some stomach cramps”
+ 4. “Ibuprofen”
+ 5. “dissociation”
+
+
+[^backups]:
+ I use a [custom rsync
+ script](https://github.com/muflax/scripts/blob/master/rbs) to copy
+ everything to a RAID-mirrored backup drive. Daily backups go 1 week
+ back, plus there’s an additional monthly version for the last 3
+ months. I used to have significantly more past versions (monthly
+ backups back to 2010, 2 weeks of daily backups). The main idea was
+ that I wanted to have a safeguard against deleting a file and then,
+ a week later, noticing I actually still wanted it (which happened
+ way too often). Nowadays, I have most of these things in git
+ repositories and spread over multiple locations, so restoring
+ arbitrary past versions is no problem, and I’m far less
+ trigger-happy with deletions in general. The old backups used up a
+ lot of space, so I reduced my backup horizon to 1 week (daily) / 3
+ months (monthly), although I still have one offsite drive with all
+ the old versions (because I only update that every few months).
+
+ I might eventually replace some of that with git-annex too, or
+ something like it, but I’m nowhere near comfortable enough with it
+ to trust it with my core backups.
+
+[^waste]:
+ Unfortunately, the `.git` directory itself tends to use up quite a
+ bit of space. For example, my `~/books` directory, which has
+ basically all my read-only documents in it, is \~70GB large and has
+ \~35k files. The `.git` right after adding the files was already
+ \~400M (after doing a `git gc`). However, size tends to depend
+ almost exclusively on the number of files, so I did some
+ restructuring and packed some stuff up, and reduced my number of
+ files to \~8k, and now got only \~160M of `.git` and adding new
+ files is reasonably fast (\<20 seconds on the slowest machine). (And
+ to be fair, part of that is git’s fault, not git-annex’.)
+
+ So my heuristic for now is that git-annex adds \~1% overhead of the
+ total archive size to every repository, which is still worth it most
+ of the time (because you can distribute stuff and space is
+ reasonably cheap), but it sucks a little.
+
+[^trusted]:
+ git-annex has 4 trust levels:
+
+ - trusted: files are assumed unchanged since the last time we saw
+ the repository
+ - semitrusted: files count towards required redundancy, but we
+ have to check first if they’re still there
+ - untrusted: location is tracked, but we never expect data to
+ still exist
+ - dead: data is gone
+
+ “trusted” makes sense for backup drives that never change on their
+ own and are only updated in one direction, “semitrusted” is the
+ level for my different machines that might have independent changes
+ that need to be merged, and “untrusted” covers drives that are known
+ to be failing and aren’t dead yet.
+
+[^oldlogs]:
+ Old logs are currently unavailable due to some restructuring. Might
+ take some days/weeks/lives.
diff --git a/content_daily/log/117.mkd b/content_daily/log/117.mkd
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a222b91
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content_daily/log/117.mkd
@@ -0,0 +1,306 @@
+---
+title: Bel-Marduk
+date: 2013-06-04
+techne: :done
+episteme: :log
+---
+
+(Wait what? words? I need to write about stuff we did? *Again*? Didn’t I
+just… oh well. Fetch me the logs, I’ll docum.. wait, it says there I
+mostly did Japanese grammar practice, which I can’t meaningfully talk
+about yet, loads of boring-to-talk-about [deliberate
+practice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Practice_%28learning_method%29#Deliberate_practice),
+and work, which I bet I’m not even allowed to talk about because we
+pretend we’re relevant to the industry? Ok, so can I post a manifesto
+then? I have a draft and need to get some of this anger out of… no? What
+about metaphys.. also no?
+
+Listen, Mister. I know you had the best of intentions with this “write
+about stuff you did because you like explaining stuff, which helps you
+actually do stuff”, but we have some better tools now, if you haven’t
+noticed, and while this works well for conceptual stuff, most skills are
+actually pretty hard to talk about in a meaningful way and learning them
+doesn’t really leave neat piles of notes that can be trivially converted
+into posts, so now you’re making me do *extra* work here. Can’t we go
+back to “deconstruct texts” and stuff? That’s at least
+fun.[^back]
+
+Yes I know the rules, I *wrote* them, but even Kant would agree that
+some rules can be broken somet.. ok yes he wouldn’t, but you know what I
+mean! Look, your paranoia isn’t helping me either! You’re so worried
+about distant effects of your actions, you’re not letting me talk about
+topics before you’re sure they’re fully under your control, but you’re
+still making me adhere to rules that were written under the assumptions
+that just documenting whatever happens is way awesome, so don’t you see
+the problem here? A lesson? What lesson could you possibly try to teach
+me here?
+
+“Sources of validation”?
+
+I see. Yeah that’s really clever of you. So if I don’t break the rule,
+I’ll have to find *something* to write about even though I don’t have
+anything ready yet. Yeah, I get how this extra work is great for your
+complicated plans. But if I just break it? What th.. whoa, that’s a big
+graph. That’s *all* conn.. even th.. whoa. Sheesh man, you’re quite the
+magician, you know that? Yes I know I joked about how I’m doing acausal
+magic when I wrote the rules. I didn’t expect you *meant* that bit! So
+if I don’t follow the rules, all.. *that*.. collapses? Well, that’s a
+pretty [double bind](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind) you set
+up there. Listen,
+[Watzlawick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Watzlawick)’s books
+weren’t *instructions* how to mess people up. I don’t care that it
+works! Don’t
+[melon](http://www.koanicsoul.com/blog/2012/06/27/how-to-manifest-whatever-you-want/)
+me! There are nicer ways to get what you want. I hate when you cloud
+your incentives with magic talk and convoluted narratives. What do you
+mean that’s the point?
+
+So it’s actually a triple bind? For all three possible modes of response
+- [loser, clueless,
+sociopath](http://www.ribbonfarm.com/the-gervais-principle/) - you’ve
+set up a demand that transparently subverts it, and is in conflict with
+the other two modes. The loser narrative is unbelievable because I can
+see the strings, the clueless reward is nonsense because I see you
+printing that toy money, the sociopath power doesn’t work because I’m
+afraid what using it will do to me. If I use any option anyway, you
+still win, and if I transcend their limitations, you also win.
+
+You’re quite the evil fuck, you know that?
+
+…
+
+…so what now?)
+
+---
+
+What’s the saying? If you don’t know what to do, go meta. So I’ll just
+document one of my recent Beeminding changes.
+
+Starting on 2013-02-28, I redesigned several things: I’ve started to
+switch from open-ended time-based goals to finite task-based goals,
+broken my big “do useful stuff” goal into smaller sub-goals, and begun
+to add percentile feedback.
+
+I explained some of the goal organization [over on
+Reddit](http://www.reddit.com/r/beeminder/comments/1e2duf/muflaxs_beeminder/c9wcevw),
+relevant quote:
+
+> I used to just track “productive hours / day” so I don’t sit on my ass
+> too much, but I started to substitute more fun projects for everything
+> else, so I recently broke that up into various independent groups of
+> goals: “science”, “guitar”, “code”, “polyglottery” and “job” (ugh). I
+> still track the total too, but that’s more of a nuclear option (with
+> the big 90\$ pledge) and I haven’t settled on a good daily goal yet.
+> If I’m too harsh on any one goal, it’s more likely I just decide it’s
+> not worth it and fail even though I still have plenty of time to meet
+> it.
+
+I’ve toned down some of the time-based goals because I found “do stuff
+for 20 minutes” not very motivating. There’s no sense of progress and “4
+hours” looks so large, I often didn’t even try to tackle it even when I
+had plenty of time left. Instead, I’ve begun to convert everything into
+a TODO list using org-mode. So for example, I’ve just turned every
+chapter / unit of a textbook into one todo item, which feels much more
+actionable and is done. (Also wrote [a simple
+script](https://github.com/muflax/scripts/blob/master/beeminder/beeminder_org_todo.rb)
+that updates Beeminder goals accordingly.[^org])
+
+So far this seems to be more productive, but I’ve not been doing it for
+very long. I tried a simple Bayesian comparison of a before/after
+dataset, mostly to figure out how R work. I just wanted to use
+[BEST](http://www.indiana.edu/~kruschke/BEST/), but the normality of
+“useful hours/day” turned out very low, meaning the data doesn’t seem to
+fit a normal distribution very well. After looking at a basic histogram:
+
+<%= image("fume_histogram.png", "Fume Histogram") %>
+
+I saw why. While this looks reasonably Poisson-y, I still don’t
+understand the underlying assumptions and methods very well, so even
+though I could hack together a simple version of “I put numbers into
+this magic box and look at these funny graphs it gave me!”, that
+wouldn’t be particularly useful.
+
+However, I just plugged my “total useful hours / day” into a simple
+Beeminder “weight gain” graph (so that I can track (and then raise) my
+fluctuating average), and you can still see two improvements (the first
+time I broke stuff down at the end of March, and the second slope when I
+transitioned to tasks):
+
+<%= image("fumeavg_graph.png", "Fume Average Graph") %>
+
+(Note that this is zoomed in and cuts off some \>6h outliers. The points
+are “total useful time” for each day as logged with my time-tracking
+tool, the thin line is a (slightly lagging) average.)
+
+I’m also trying to use this graph and a simple percentile number in
+[fume](https://github.com/muflax/fume) to implement [Seth’s percentile
+feedback](http://blog.sethroberts.net/2011/05/01/percentile-feedback-and-productivity/),
+so instead of just seeing “I did 1.2 hours of useful stuff today”, I
+also see how good that is compared to the last week.
+
+I’m not sure yet if it actually works in terms of increasing my
+productive time (not enough data), but at least it’s more motivating and
+I’ve made significant progress on several projects due to the tiny todos
+that feel more like “one more turn” instead of “fix ALL the things!”.
+
+---
+
+I got annoyed with Dropbox mangling my data and so thought, hey my
+`~/spoiler` directory (i.e. all my notes, todo lists and drafts) is
+already a (huge) git repository with auto-commit, so I could just use
+some git solution to sync that between machines. Then all the stuff in
+Dropbox is either read-only (public shares) or written by only one
+machine ever (phone -\> desktop) and I won’t have sync issues anymore.
+Shouldn’t be hard, right?
+
+What I considered:
+
+1. Use git-annex. Long-term that’s fine, but currently the assistant
+ ignores the `.gitignore` (wtf?!) and I’m beginning to develop a
+ deep-seated hatred against all Haskell
+ programmers.[^haskell]
+
+2. Sparkleshare is, quote, “an Open Source collaboration and sharing
+ tool that is designed to keep things simple and to stay out of your
+ way”. It’s also written in C\#. Good joke. Is funny. I laugh.
+
+3. dvcs-autosync is similar, but “takes a more minimalistic approach”.
+ Which includes no documentation, limited directory awareness and,
+ best of all, *requires a central repository*. It has *“distributed”
+ in its fucking name*. Who’d be so dement.. oh, guy uses Arch Linux.
+ I’m now convinced every Archer is clinically insane.[^arch]
+
+So there isn’t any good tool yet. Well, I could turn one of those
+(probably dvcs-autosync) into something usable, but ain’t nobody got
+time for that. So it’s back to my cronjob’d commit-and-pull-everything
+solution until git-annex’ assistant stops sucking. (Nonetheless, I still
+put “use dvcs-autosync to auto-commit based on inotify and insta-push
+via git hook” on my todo, in case I *do* got time for that.)
+
+Sigh.
+
+---
+
+You know what’s really annoying? Hair feedback time.
+
+So I wanna do this totally awesome undercut thingie[^hipster],
+but it will take me months, if not a full year until some parts have
+grown enough that I can pull it off, and until then I can’t do
+*shit*.[^drunk] I just practice a bit by doing regular
+maintenance, but how am I supposed to level up my self-sustaining
+fabulousness if I can make maybe 1-2 big decisions *per year* and
+mistakes might require rollbacks so large, you gonna have to wait months
+just to *repeat* them?
+
+On the plus side, while I was going through
+[http://fuckyeahundercuts.tumblr.com](http://fuckyeahundercuts.tumblr.com),
+I felt - for the first time in my life - a sense of fear of being
+outdated, that by the time this “just long enough to poke me in the eye”
+mess has grown into something that can unambiguously blow in the wind
+and has enough surface area for a dozen Hello Kitty hair bows, that by
+then fashion will have moved on and I’ll look so wannabe 90’s, I might
+as well buy a fedora.
+
+Then I remember no one cares and I go back to Pinterest.
+
+---
+
+A mini-review of the newest [Crusader Kings
+II](http://www.crusaderkings.com/) DLC, [The Old
+Gods](http://www.paradoxplaza.com/games/crusader-kings-ii-the-old-gods).
+It adds a new start in 867, the year Rurik decided that Russian brides
+are just the best and he’s gonna grab himself some in
+Novgorod[^rape], and more importantly, before the spread of
+Christianity into the East. I’ve always wanted to play before the
+*Ostsiedlung*, so I just jumped right into Lusatia and decided that
+minority status isn’t good enough for us
+[Sorbs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorbs), we’re gonna carve
+ourselves a kingdom in the midst of Vikings, Poles, invading nomads, and
+worst of all, Bavarians.
+
+The new raid mechanics are a beautiful addition. At first, I was just
+assembling little hunting parties from time to time because I thought
+that it was my duty as a Pagan to pillage, but by picking vulnerable
+Christian provinces too busy with bigger assholes than me, I had quickly
+transformed my fiscal policy into “whatever the Christians can’t
+defend”. Greater Poland acting up because it thinks it should own
+Silesia? Better “borrow” some money from the cities to the south.
+Vikings landed again? Let’s make it Nürnberg’s problem and buy some
+mercenaries with their gold. Once I realized I can finance the majority
+of my armies with ransom money, I couldn’t help but start blasting Death
+Metal and cheer the burning of churches. The Christians might worship a
+pathetic god, but at least their coffers come back from the dead year
+after year, ready for another harvest.
+
+The fascinating thing is how this high lasted for some time until some
+even bigger Pagan decided I would make a nice addition to their
+ever-growing list of vassals, and I realized I ain’t got no Divine Right
+of Kings, I just got a big axe, and after the last succession crisis of
+6 sons (did I mention those concubines?), I was exhausted and without
+friends, and maybe all those saints I gladly turned into martyrs
+might’ve been on to something and I should’ve taken up the Axe of the
+Apostles instead. But even though the March of Progress might be against
+me, and even though stability and order win in the long run and I got
+neither, at least for a few decades I was feared by all and when death
+inevitably comes, I won’t have any regrets.
+
+My sons, though, are fucked.
+
+<%= image("yolo.jpg", "#yolo") %>
+
+[^back]:
+ But seriously, I don’t always like to shoe-horn fragments, cool
+ links and “omg they didn’t just write that” parts into logs. I know
+ people use their FB or G+ for that, but I don’t like either site
+ (because at least one of them is probably run by actual soul-eating
+ vampires).
+
+ I wonder if I should start a tumblr. While I don’t have angry
+ opinions about gender yet, I am confused about my personal identity,
+ sexuality, hair style and species. I would like to regularly reblog
+ [sassy
+ pugs](https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/390eb27ac775f1db1a416ca9172c28aa/tumblr_mnqtmuomAa1r8hf8lo1_400.gif)
+ and summarize complex arguments with a reaction.gif, but I’m not
+ sure if I’m ready to become a 15-year-old girl full-time.
+
+ There needs to be a place that is kinda in-between FB and tumblr. A
+ fumblr, if you will.
+
+[^org]:
+ Beeminder has native Trello integration, which is probably a good
+ alternative if you’re not already familiar with org-mode. Still,
+ Trello doesn’t have nested items and can’t be used offline, so
+ that’s somewhat annoying.
+
+[^haskell]:
+ Seriously, Haskell has a worse dependency hell than the ARM code I
+ maintain *which still uses gcc 2.95*. Oh, I need to update a minor
+ library from `x.y.3` to `x.y.4`? *Every single Haskell program ever*
+ on my machine is now broken. I hate academics.
+
+[^arch]:
+ Sometimes I feel like ranting about Arch, but then I remember
+ *pacman doesn’t even have versioned packages* and I don’t think any
+ more needs to be said about it. At least the
+ [suckless](http://suckless.org/) guys make great trolls and
+ occasionally write cool projects. Arch just seems to rot the mind
+ with cargo cult minimalism.
+
+[^hipster]:
+ Look, I have strong opinions about the metaphysics and epistemology
+ of 19th century Dutch theologians. It’s pretty much mandatory that I
+ either look like Skrillex or an 80’s bum. Which isn’t mutually
+ exclusive, fortunately.
+
+[^drunk]:
+ I expect to get drunk sometime this week, do it anyway, freak out,
+ complain on Twitter, then love my decisiveness and use the
+ experience as yet another guilt token later, admonishing myself why
+ I can’t be as awesome as I used to be. That’s how I usually get
+ stuff done I have issues about.
+
+[^rape]:
+ As [mrout on
+ Reddit](http://www.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/1f9519/the_concubine_system_is_awesome/ca7zp8l)
+ said, “Hey Japan! This is how you do a rape game without being weird
+ about it.”.
diff --git a/content_daily/log/118.mkd b/content_daily/log/118.mkd
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bab1f7d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content_daily/log/118.mkd
@@ -0,0 +1,422 @@
+---
+title: Hamiltonian
+date: 2013-08-21
+techne: :done
+episteme: :log
+---
+
+<%= youtube("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI2GauQ1eiU") %>
+
+Hey, internet! So a lot of stuff’s been happening. As I alluded to in
+some off-hand comments here and there, I’ve been busy transitioning into
+adulthood, or whatever passes as that for me anyway. (I’ve internally
+just begun to call it Chapter 1, and everything before now Prologue,
+because I’m stupid like that.[^stupid])
+
+This process is still ongoing, but instead of waiting for another 2
+months or so and then recapping, I thought I could just get back to
+writing now, while stuff’s still happening. Crazy idea, I know!
+
+I am, in a certain sense, done with my CS degree, and as you can tell by
+that weaselly phrase, I mean that I’ve dropped out instead of continuing
+that torturous phase of my past for yet another year. The only real
+reason I even started the degree was because I didn’t have any other
+idea what else to do, and was using it to cheaply buy time. That worked
+out reasonably well - in total, I got half a decade out of it, and grew
+enough in the process (and met the right people, and ideas) that I now
+think it was absolutely the right decision. Maybe there would’ve been
+better alternatives (if so, I still don’t know what they would’ve been,
+beyond a “don’t take so long to stop being lame” reminder that’s
+probably only applicable with hindsight), but regardless, well done,
+past-me, It wasn’t fancy or heroic, but it worked just fine.
+
+Still, it took me probably a good year to actually make the decision to
+drop out after I knew I wasn’t gonna continue this path and had begun to
+see an alternative. Sometimes more legible options appear stronger just
+because they are legible. A degree is of fairly straightforward value -
+you can easily look up income statistics and job requirements, compare
+it to the time investment of college, there ya go - and any part that
+isn’t easy to quantify gets thrown out of the evaluation. Like for
+example, despising virtually all options it opens up, not having much
+use for it on the paths I *do* like, and continuing now that I have
+actually found said real options would just be a waste of time.
+
+You are now allowed to shun me based on my lack of academic credentials.
+I don’t mind - destroying academia is on my todo list, and regular
+reminders why it has to go probably help.
+
+---
+
+So did I mention I actually [started a tumblr](http://muflax.tumblr.com)
+for random snippets and stuff? I’m still not sure if I’m gonna use it or
+anything, but nice pictures keep popping up, and maybe I end up writing
+a few short thingies over there. So far I’ve mostly been reblogging
+[Homestuck](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6) ships.
+
+Like I said over there, I’d like to eventually talk more coherently (and
+not just meta, but also directly) about ships, and art, and related
+things (, and the Oxford Comma), but I’m still not quite feeling it, so
+maybe it’s just not the right time, or I don’t have enough interesting
+things to say, or whatever. We’ll see. Anyway, it exists now.
+
+Look, a pug!
+
+---
+
+So instead of being a productive member of society, I was mostly busy
+with building additional pylons figuring out how to money, keeping
+Mother Bureaucracy updated and working on moving in together with my
+[moirail](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Quadrants)
+[^moirail][^otp][^language][^footnotes]
+somewhere in the UK, which will happen in about 2 months when my
+contract at the university runs out and I can leave the country.
+
+(This might be a good opportunity to point out how
+[Homestuck](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6) has one of the saner
+models of romance and gender, and that this is one of countless benefits
+trolls bring to any story they touch.[^trolls] It also
+highlights by analogy some silliness in the conventional human model by
+showing similar silliness in the troll model. While some trolls insist
+that *ideal* relationships divide nicely into the Four Quadrants, it’s
+clear that in most cases this isn’t the case and it’s much fuzzier, even
+though the quadrants still represent some important components, so wiser
+trolls would realize that and take a more reasonable stance and oppose a
+system that tries to enforce restrictive norms (which, for all we know,
+they *do* - troll society and history is… complicated, as it should be).
+But in contrast to that, trolls *already* have a much better position on
+gender than the humans, who do the same essentialist “two ideal
+categories” crap trolls do with the quadrants.
+
+So there.)
+
+On a completely unrelated note, I just want to note how weird it is that
+“yay I’m happy” posts can cause some seriously bad side-effects, and
+that I remember being personally pissed off by them in the past,
+thinking something along the lines of, “well good for YOU that you’re
+happy, I’m still a lonely mess”, and so even though saying (and feeling)
+these things is very important, I still feel uncomfortable talking about
+it, and so will abstain from any more details for now. Compassionate
+community norms are *hard*, and I wanna at least think about them some
+more.[^sharing]
+
+Regardless, actually moving (especially to a different country) means I
+had to adapt some of my setups.
+
+I won’t be able to bring my guitar with me for now, but might be able to
+fly it over next year or so. I’m kinda glad I opted for gear that is
+fairly mobile, so transport should be fairly easy once I don’t also have
+to bring all my *other* stuff with me. I’m still committed to the frugal
+ideal that everything you own should comfortably fit into one car at
+most (or you end up limiting your freedom too much), so it’s mostly the
+amp that’s causing trouble (and it’s still primarily monetary concerns
+that I didn’t pick an even smaller one, which oddly enough cost *more*;
+if things go as they usually do, I’ll eventually just build my own).
+
+I’ve also gotten rid of my old PC setup. I used to have one
+Frankensteinian desktop machine that I cheaply turned into a decent-ish
+gaming rig, but I’ve long intended to retire it. I also had two old-ish
+laptops, and loads of small drives for backups and stuff. The desktop
+was kinda the central machine and everything else synced with it. I now
+switched to one fancy 13-inch MacBook (still running Gentoo, after some
+headaches), kept my
+[keyboard](http://www.diatec.co.jp/en/det.php?prod_c=763) and mouse for
+work that requires them, and put the two large 1.5TB drives from my
+desktop (which mirror each other) into a portable NAS. My total space
+capacity went down a bit that way, and I lost the ability to play some
+high-end games (for now), but meh. (I still kept the old netbook for
+some additional mobility though, but it’s semi-retired.)
+
+That simplifies my synchronization and backup needs somewhat. All
+small-ish things are automatically copied to various online places. Each
+laptop does a daily backup to the NAS, which also stores most of the big
+media via git-annex. The NAS runs a custom Debian, so it’s also a server
+for all kinds of minor things, including Nethack. Every time I get my
+hands on any other drive I copy as much data onto it as I can fit
+(because why not; I just put my old drives in a box at my parents’ - no
+reason to throw them out), but that’s now gonna be a maybe-once-a-year
+event. (Also, git-annex on an SSD is finally fast enough to be fully
+usable.)
+
+I was afraid that losing my two big monitors would hurt the most, but
+because I spend most of my time in a text editor or browser anyway, it’s
+actually not a big deal. Workspaces work just as well as additional
+monitors, and 13 inches is plenty. The only thing that’s a pain is if I
+still had to use Eclipse for Java work, but screw that - I’m finally in
+pure Ruby and Haskell nirvana. (I wouldn’t *reject* more monitors if I
+had them available, but I’m not gonna try to carry any around with me
+either.) And finally, not having a “central” machine I can’t move means
+I can now easily snuggle up next to someone and still code, regardless
+where said person happens to be. That’s *so* much more important than
+screen size.
+
+I still feel kinda sentimental about a “cabin in the woods” setup with
+lots of ancient hardware that runs some custom setup where you wrote
+half the tools (as I used to run for the last few years, and would like
+to have again some time), so having just one main machine (and one
+server-in-a-box) is kinda weird.
+
+Guess I’m a nomad now.
+
+---
+
+Hahaha, oh man. Do you guys remember how over a year ago, I made a List
+Of All My Problems? It was like 260 items long and I thought, yeah,
+that’s probably *it* - some issues might’ve been vague, sure, and others
+irrelevant, but I didn’t think I’d have forgotten anything important.
+Who doesn’t know what their Main Issues are, right?
+
+I recently looked at this list again and it’s *ridiculous*. It’s not
+just incredibly petty sometimes, many things that have deeply bothered
+me for years and are reason enough to plunge me into suicidality
+whenever they seem unfixable aren’t even on there!
+
+It’s liberating when radical agnosticism shifts from not knowing most
+answers to not even being sure about the questions. If I don’t even know
+what my real problems are, how can I possibly be upset about them?
+
+(Also basically everything important on that list has been fixed by
+now.)
+
+---
+
+So what’s next?
+
+Step 1, the prototype: teach a complex skill and make it no longer hard.
+
+After considering various options in detail[^options], we’ve
+decided to start with German for English speakers. Because we’re still
+developing the courses and improving our teaching skills (well, learning
+from scratch based on ancient scrolls, really), we’re gonna spend a few
+months solely on that and in-person testing, and then Disturb The Peace.
+
+So if you wanna learn German For Reals Without All The Tedium And Crap
+(or just wanna meet up with me and talk whatever (I’m totes sociable now
+(when I’m not a paranoid ball of anxiety (but I now have a superweapon
+against that (it’s not nested parentheses (just in case you
+wondered)))))), and you’re somewhere in the UK, just leave a comment or
+[contact me](/contact/) in any way you want, and I’ll put you on The
+List and try to make stuff happen as soon as I’m able. (Once the thing
+has been sufficiently tested, there will be an automated, and more
+importantly, online version, of course. Can’t change the world with just
+one meager town and face-to-face interaction, but direct feedback makes
+early development so much easier, so yeah.)
+
+(Step 2-10 are left unmentioned to maintain the Unspoken Plan Guarantee.
+Things will become clearer eventually.)
+
+---
+
+Regardless, that means the next few months are completely filled up by
+logistics, development and being amazed how I can continue to fall even
+more in love every day. Some of that might eventually get better, some
+might not, but I don’t expect too much writing to happen for a while,
+unless I find a way to harvest the power of smooching to produce some
+wicked posts. (I’ve also lost parts of my writing urges for various
+reasons[^reasons], some likely permanently so, but these things
+come and go. I’ve had quiet years and hypergraphic years before.)
+
+In terms of kinda-planned drafts, I’ve begun to write down my way too
+elaborate Jesus RPG campaign. I’ve given up on ever running it and just
+want it out of my head. I’m about 4k words in, might actually finish the
+thing soon enough, maybe start posting it in small-ish installments once
+I’ve sketched out the whole post structure.
+
+So overall, I think it’s a good idea to just declare Mission
+Accomplished for the daily logs. I’ve done my first crazy miracle and
+I’m busy working on the next. This site is now officially “whenever,
+whatever”, as long as its kinda coherent. The rest goes to the tumblr.
+
+…
+
+Man, [being an adult](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ) is
+*awesome*.
+
+[^stupid]:
+ This is stupid for several reasons:
+
+ - it smushes everything before now into one Prologue, when really
+ there are multiple clear “everything changed forever” events
+ during that time (e.g. first anime, first time taking Ayahuasca,
+ first website (on a shittier version of Geocities, no less)) and
+ there’s no overarching unified progression during the whole
+ thing (like, Batman loses his parents in his prologue - what one
+ critical thing happened to me, exactly?)
+ - it places great emotional importance on events that haven’t even
+ unfolded yet, like I have secret insights into God’s Narrative
+ or sumthin’
+ - it uses linear narratives, not
+ [shandified](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvwlt4FqmS0) ones
+ (who’s to say I won’t *return* to Chapter 1 at some later
+ point?)
+ - it implicitly assumes one arc has one theme, or at most several
+ exactly parallel ones; in other words, whatever Chapter 1 is
+ about *ends* with Chapter 1, and if some other stuff happens
+ during that time, it either has to end there too, or it must
+ just not be what my life is really about
+ - it strongly suggest there must chapters after it, thus
+ undermining my ability to Fix Everything Forever Like I’m Made
+ Out Of Pure Fixeverythingium
+ - and seriously, “1”? you can’t even name it something cool, like
+ The One With The Robot Snake?
+
+[^moirail]:
+ Don’t know what a moirail is? [Read the
+ link](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Quadrants). While the
+ concept strongly overlaps with “bros” and similar things, these tend
+ to not get the romantic component of it, or imply weird ideas like
+ how this kind of relationship is inherently asexual (fuck no),
+ partially I suspect because just mainstream romance/sexuality
+ discourse is retarded, so I’m declaring a Special Snowflake
+ Exception for “moirail”, as it seems easier to repair these
+ misconceptions in a troll-originated concept, than to get [bros to
+ finally suck
+ cock](http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeIAmA/comments/1j3uo9/explain_the_term_bromance_like_you_are_a_deeply/)
+ and not feel guilty about it.
+
+ Incidentally, the pronunciation of “moirail” is delightfully trolly.
+ Personally, I use “meow-rail” for normal use, and “mwah-rail” (with
+ implied kissing) when flirting.
+
+[^otp]:
+ I’d also like to note that even though this establishes a canon (and
+ muflax-endorsed) \<\> and \<3 dual-ship of muflax+Owen (and I’d
+ argue in favor of OTP here), this only expresses my (and Owen’s, and
+ arguably the universe’s author’s) opinion, and is no reason to
+ abandon other ships or your personal headcanon. I oppose any central
+ authority on these matters, even if it might happen to agree with
+ me.
+
+ (I also find it really weird to use two different types of names,
+ but I wanna be consistent about only using “muflax” for now, even
+ though using my first name would allow for an S+O=SO pun, but then I
+ hate the “SO” term, so nevermind…)
+
+ I’ve only dabbled in o8\< (mostly by not-always-intentionally
+ trolling certain people by acting as a proxy for mindfucky ideas by
+ other (crazier) people, and so leading them to write wonderful “the
+ fuck is this stuff even about?! I never knew about X until last
+ week, and now I’ve realized I’ve hated it MY ENTIRE LIFE!” posts; I
+ noticed I’m doing this when friends in 6th grade told me I was the
+ one who introduced them to kink, somehow), and I’m totally lacking
+ in \<3\<. I mean, I kinda hate
+ [Polycarp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycarp) but not quite
+ enough, and if the [alveolar
+ trill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alveolar_trill) were a person,
+ I’d wanna have angry hatesex with it so hard, but I’m not sure that
+ counts.
+
+ So the most promising shipping research topic is probably who my
+ arch-nemesis is gonna be. Somehow I mostly get into fights with
+ concepts, not people.
+
+[^language]:
+ Also, I’m *really* unhappy with established terms to talk about
+ “person who I love, like, THIIIIS much”. Like (girl|boy)friend? Fuck
+ that. “partner”? Like, the government gets to call ‘em “partner” if
+ it wants, and I find it kinda adorable what weirdly formal language
+ it comes up with, but it’s not really a very affectionate label, is
+ it? Seriously, all options are either super-formal, horrible or real
+ silly. (I’m *never* gonna use “SO”. This is too stupid even for me.)
+ I’d be ok with “lover” if it didn’t have this connotation that it
+ isn’t a serious thing, or “mate” if Australians hadn’t ruined it. So
+ for now until I find a term (neologic if necessary) I’m happy with,
+ I expect to mood-swing through “partner”, “moirail”, “love” (and I
+ really wanna use “hon”, but then I’m tempted to practice a Southern
+ accent all day and never get anything else done), and whatever else
+ feels slightly less awkward that day.
+
+ Man, /language/, amirite?
+
+[^footnotes]:
+ That’s a lot of footnotes for one word! It’s as if there’s a
+ correlation with how important the topic is to me, or the thing it
+ refers to…
+
+[^trolls]:
+ Seeker, wear the [troll
+ hide](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes_mask), learn [the
+ signs of the
+ dakinis](http://buddhism-for-vampires.com/dakinis-karma-mudra) and
+ wander into the [Bohemian
+ forest](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moulin_Rouge!), where you will
+ find a [four-headed statue](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perun)
+ proclaiming Beauty, Freedom, Truth and Love, which grants liberation
+ to all who know the magic song. A servant of [Grandma
+ Bonylegs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba_Yaga) once sung it to
+ me, but I can never quite [keep it in my
+ head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvFpJBJSPRA)…
+
+
+[^sharing]:
+ Part of my writing philosophy has always been “write what I actually
+ wanna read more of”, and so I’m pissed at myself that I *don’t*
+ share a lot more here, cause this is exactly what I’d love to read
+ about, and so not doing it is a concession to lameness itself. But
+ I’m also paranoid about various perverse incentives and
+ substitutions (i.e. writing more about the thing than actually doing
+ the thing, or in this case, person (BOOM FLAWLESS INNUENDO)), and so
+ for now I’m gonna be mostly silent while I think it through.
+
+ The other problem is that *this stuff is hard to write about*. It’s
+ weird how “this is not a *real* medium” is one of those statements
+ that *incredibly* piss me off, like every time someone says “games
+ aren’t art” or “but you can’t trust someone over *text*” (aside from
+ the retarded conceptions of “art” and “trust” that underlie this
+ nonsense), and so *not being able to write about something* because
+ I just wouldn’t know how is a deep moral failure for me, and when I
+ find myself thinking “I can’t write about that, who would want to
+ read that?!, and anyway, I don’t even know how to english it to
+ begin with”, I feel like I’m Failing At Life, and everything that
+ matters *at all* gets betrayed because of some stupid sense of
+ boundaries or expectations.
+
+ So I gotta figure something out, and beat this old narrative machine
+ into a decent enough approximation of half my feels. Just gimme some
+ time to adjust.
+
+[^options]:
+ Also considered, among other things:
+
+ - different places, most importantly Canada (but their bureaucracy
+ tries to cockblock me as hard as it can while still claiming
+ they want valuable immigration with a straight face), and Berlin
+ (not ideal for the skill set we currently have, but I’d still
+ like to re-visit at some point in the near future, maybe in the
+ form of some grand Europe Tour)
+ - different language, primarily French (possibly the next one),
+ Japanese (would love to do it next, but I really want either
+ more teaching experience or a fluent speaker to work with first,
+ so it had to wait) and English (not enough resources right now)
+ - math and physics up to undergraduate level or so (much harder to
+ get a properly incentivized audience, but real high up on the
+ list and long-term mandatory (and I like everything about it,
+ including teaching it), but not the right thing to bootstrap
+ with)
+ - different timeline / “business model” / major reordering of The
+ Plan (long story, but tl;dr: everything else is predictably
+ stupid-in-retrospect, and so doesn’t make sense)
+
+[^reasons]:
+ Various reasons:
+
+ - much lower need for outside approval, and actively working on
+ lowering it even more; [Arline’s
+ Mantra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Do_You_Care_What_Other_People_Think%3F)
+ “What Do *You* Care What Other People Think?” helps a lot to
+ clarify and work through these issues, but kills ranty blogs
+ dead
+ - after some discussions with
+ [David](http://meaningness.com/metablog/how-to-think) and Owen,
+ I’m pretty strongly in the “most philosophy (i.e. the stuff I
+ talked about a lot) has only negative value by removing
+ misconceptions” camp now, so the only interesting stuff for me
+ is foundational stuff that directly leads to engineering stuff,
+ and so I find myself only reading Skinner, Mill and similar
+ folks, if even that
+ - too sane; I kinda have a tendency to get worked up about stupid
+ shit (in entertaining ways, at least, but still) when I don’t
+ have a calming influence in my life; have that now, feel much
+ less crazy (except in a good way)
+ - speaking of Feynman and craziness, you gotta *do* crazy shit
+ occasionally so you can later *talk about it*; currently in that
+ phase
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