---
title: The Message
date: 2012-11-13
techne: :wip
episteme: :inspired
---

This is not the greatest story ever told. This is just a tribute.

---

Jesus ordered him, "Don't tell anyone what has happened here, or else health will stop being a costly signal." -Luke 5:14 #hansoniantheology

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they are immune to moral basilisks and shall inherit the kingdom by default.

There is no such thing as independence; only degrees of control. #rationalw40k

Jesus said, I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, so I can create perverse social incentives to keep sinning, lulz.


Jesus said, if you want to be perfect, go, date someone beneath you, make that nerd's day. I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord, who is dated by and dates all.

Do not eat the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden because it is a Schelling point and will allow Death to find you. #hideyosins

Dear apologists: next time someone says "the Jews expected a triumphant messiah, not Jesus", I want you to bring up countersignaling.

See also Mark 5:1-20, in which Jesus rebukes a demonic attempt to hijack his decision-making through average utilitarianism.

The disciples of Bayes came to Him, saying, "Why do we update, but your disciples do not update?" Jesus said, "Can the agent update as long as Omega is with them? The days will come when Omega is gone, and then they will update. The lazy hacker does not write new programs for new ideas. No, they reuse the legacy code until it breaks."

"Why do you worry about batteries? See how the trolls of the forums troll, how they flourish, yet they do not reason or care. If that is how God supplies the trolls of the forums, who are here today and banned tomorrow, will He not much more supply you? Your bored Father knows that you need them. Seek first His entertainment, and all these things will be given to you as well.

The women hurried from the tomb. Suddenly Jesus met them and said, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers, 'first lol'".

The heathen abandons God when bad things happen to good people. The Catholic only abandons Him when lame things happen to awesome people.
